


Armor incident

by strongjaw



Series: once on SR-1 [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: (totally prank), F/M, Gen, Good times, Humor, just goofing around with no point really, prank or coincidence? we'll never know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:42:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8333236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strongjaw/pseuds/strongjaw
Summary: Something that could happen only on SR-1, or bless unisex armor in Mass Effect 1.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was changing another new armor that I'd just picked up on Feros, usual routine - open menu, change the item, give the old one to a crewmate - when realized It's okay that we were in the middle of a battle, right?
> 
> Tried to distract myself a bit from the angst of writing [these](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7041940) bits.

The Feros mission was irritating. Shepard stretched her legs bracing herself before searching of the Thorian. She was somehow more exhausted than usual deciding it was probably the atmosphere.

"Man, such a weird place, can't even breathe here properly," Kaidan muttered climbing out of the Mako. He practically read her thoughts. Shepard glanced at him and realized what felt wrong from the beginning.

"Uh... Lieutenant, can I have a word with you?" She stopped walking, shifting uneasily.

Kaidan looked distracted pulling out his gun, cautious for the possible ambush. "You sure it can’t wait Commander? I don't really like staying at the open space longer than needed."

As much as he was right Shepard felt it would be hard to concentrate before it's settled. "It can wait, yeah, but your armor..." She tried not to be too loud, but vocal enough to have Kaidan's attention. It seemed that it worked: he started turning his head, looking himself.

"What’s wrong with it?" Lieutenant asked, still puzzled. Shepard sighed and closed her eyes.

"...It’s on me now." Kaidan froze. He lowered the gun and finally looked at her.

"What the hell?" He asked dumbfoundly. "I mean... wow."

Commander scratched the back of her neck. "Yeah..." The armor was identical, but there was no mistake: the one on Kaidan felt heavier than usual and, he noticed just now, had customs that he never used. The helmets veiled facial expressions, but Shepard could tell what he felt. Thankfully, at least her helmet was _on her_. Not that it helped: it still was hot and hard to breathe.

Kaidan cleared his throat, but his voice was raspy anyway: "Now I get it why it’s so tight. But how...?"

"No idea. Onyx is pretty easy to confuse. Or _misplace_." Shepard sounded threatening. "Now if anyone messed with my locker..."

"That's insane, why would anyone do that?" Kaidan was genuinely surprised. Shepard wasn't, though.

"I don't know, Leiutenant, but that's obviously human nature," she deadpanned having in mind one particular pilot and one particular gunnery chief (who, mind you, had an access to the lockers).

Kaidan breathed loudly: "Yeah, okay, right... I, uh... guess we need to change or something?"

Commander narrowed her eyes: "Weren't you the one who said we’re in creepy open space?" She asked in mocking but annoyed disbelief.

"There's still the Mako..." Kaidan suggested sheepishly motioning at their transport.

When thunder-like laughter echoed out of the vehicle, he got his weapon up again, and Shepard quickly turned to the sound. Wrex's head showed above the hatch.

"Can I at least get outta here?" the Krogan rumbled, still snorting, while climbing out of the Mako. "Don't want you pyjacks to change in front of me." Kaidan's face was crimson under the helmet, and Shepard just let out exasperated breath:

"Wrex..."

He chuckled: "Sorry, Shepard, you're too skinny to my taste."

She only waved at him: "Can it, Wrex, and don’t sneak up on people."

"I was here all the time!" He shrugged. "Good that I have no one to share my armor with..." Shepard tried not to smile, but his laughter was contagious. She cast an eye on Lieutenant who shuffled, clearly uncomfortable, contrasting with Wrex who now came near him.

"Just... don’t tell Joker, okay?" Kaidan stated finally, still embarrassed.

"If he doesn't know already," Shepard huffed, secretly hoping she was wrong.

"Just don't be too preoccupied by each other, you get distracted easily," Wrex grinned maliciously. "No wonder you confused the armor, Shepard."

Commander couldn't help but groaned. Will this mission be over? Kaidan almost choked: "But we’re not even... it’s not what you..."

Wrex just nudged the biotic. "Yeah, yeah, I don’t care, carry on before Geth saw your bare ass." He pointed to the Mako, and Kaidan winced rubbing his shoulder.

"Wrex!" His provocation angered Shepard, but he had a point, and that was worse.

"What? I didn't hurt your human. See? We're good." The Krogan tried to hug Kaidan, and now Shepard winced.

"You'll scratch my armor!"


End file.
